Mind If I Put This Wrench In Your Day?

I’ve been so good at managing my time, or shall I say managing me.  To be quiet honest, I’ve felt like a rock star in my own personal soaping world.  I finally have figured out somewhat of a schedule. 

8:30am Drop kids off at school

9:15am Feed baby and handing him over to grandma (life saver babysitter)

9:30am Fill orders / Make Soap (usually only on Mondays from 9:30 – 12pm, Beer is made on the weekends)

10:30am Exercise or Blog

11:30am Feed baby/self

12:30pm Work on Website, order supplies, mastermind

2:45pm- 8pm Pick up kids…  Put on Family Management Hat.

9pm-11pm Continue working on website, blog, orders, masterminding…Netflix.

And as to be expected, once you THINK you have figured out a routine, life comes along and says, “Hi, can I put a couple of wrenches in your day?  Thanks!”  It was pretty humorous, in retrospect.  In the morning I was greeted with a gas leak that took all morning to resolve.  Orders got pushed out into the afternoon.  No exercise, but blogging and masterminding could be salvaged during the evening.  Family time turned into a WWF showdown. My 4 year old got a nice shiner from her 8 -year old sister who kicked her in the eye while doing a cartwheel.  World War 3 broke out, but after an hour, yelling and crying turned into laugher. By the end of the night, my anxiety level was at a ten because today’s agenda was nowhere near complete.  Exhausted, I made myself sit in front of the computer to write a blog post.  Two sentences in, the baby started to cry.  I lifted him up and as I watched him eat, my anxiety eased.  It is then that I realized I am my own worst enemy.  Here I have a precious baby in my arms, and I’m worried about my to-do list. So I didn’t get everything I needed to get done completed.  I did however get the “must-do’s” done. The rest could wait until tomorrow. 

There are always going to be days such as today. It’s learning to let go of the expectations that is the hardest part for me.  Maybe today’s wrenches were there for a reason.  Maybe it was a reminder to slow down.  Maybe it was a reminder that tomorrow’s Girls Night Out is REALLY important.   Whatever the reason for my wrench filled day, I need to stop beating myself up for what didn’t get done. I need to start appreciating what did get done and who I spend my time with.  Most importantly, I need to appreciate this glass of wine! 

Why I Started My Own Business

It takes a lot of courage to create your own path in life. Oftentimes the people most closest to us will be the first to call you crazy, "You want to do what? You can't make money doing that! How are you going to support your family?" But that's the thing... Sometimes it's not about the money, sometimes it's about what makes you happy!

I was a classroom teacher in Oakland for 8 years. Then I became a teacher's coach for 4 years before I left my 9-5 job a year ago. Why did I leave a stable, ten-yeared position? Because I was anxious, overwhelmed, and depressed. If the word, "No Child Left Behind," "Common Core,"  "Rubrics," or "Assessment" came up in conversation, my blood pressure would rise to unhealthy levels. I argued with my husband and yelled at my kids all the time.  With the pressures of work, I couldn't think, I was drained. I had nothing to give to my family, let alone myself.  A change had to happen.

 I didn't just quit all of a sudden. I saw this move coming two years earlier, and slowly decreased my hours as an educator in order to increase hours in a more creative endeavor of starting my own soap business. My soap business infused hope into my life. I felt sane while designing and creating soap. I enjoyed hearing instant feedback from customers because I new immediately the impact my soap had on others.  (In my old profession, I never knew the impact on a child's life unless they told me years later.) Eventually, I started to feel motivated when I got up in the mornings, and the relationships with my family improved dramatically.  

In some regards owning my own business is harder than teaching. I don't always know where my next check is coming from. I was not formally trained to own a business like I was becoming a teacher, so I've had to learn about sales tax, city codes, marketing etc. on my own. Finding supports like the Indie Business Network (IBN) have been instrumental in my learning. Most importantly, I am blessed with the support of my husband as he is the main bread winner while I get Handbrewed Soaps up and running.  I still dabble in education by consulting for a music education non profit, but it's at a level that doesn't give me a heart attack. Now I am able to make my own rules, lead the life I want to lead, choosing my own path.  Yes I have times where I think all the odds are against me in this crazy world of entrepreneurship! What I've learned so far on this journey, is that if you are truly passionate about it, if you work hard for it, you'll figure it out. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought I'd be owning my own soap business! 

It Has Been 11 Years!

As I get older, I realize how time flies.  I remember back to my elementary days (first grade I think), standing in the lunch line thinking, "When is this year going to end?  I've been in the first grade FOREVER!"  (Note: I have no idea why I remember this, but it's very vivid!)  As I got older, and my perspective changed, especially about time, experiences started to fly by.

Thirteen years ago, I met my best friend.  We were both teachers at Thornhill Elementary School in Oakland.  I was a fifth grade teacher, and he was the music teacher.  When I first met him, I thought his last name was Swinhart (like a pig) and proceeded to call him that until my students corrected me.  I'm sure I actually called him Mr. Swinhart to his face, but he never said anything.  (Ahh, what a nice guy!)

After clearing up the situation about his last name, flaking on 3 dates with him, and giving each other awkward colleague hugs (once I actually showed up for dates,) we soon made plans to travel to Peru together and once we got back home, I proceeded to ask him to move in with me, and a year after that asked him to marry me.  Now, it's been eleven years since we've been married (today!) We have two very awesome girls (with a boy on the way), we've laughed (boy have we laughed), and we've cried.  It's been the quickest eleven years of my life, and it's the one area that I wish would slow down, because I'm having to much fun!

So Eric, this year on our anniversary, I'm not writing how amazing you are in a card... you get a whole blog post!!! Thank you for teaching me to:

1) Take risks:  This guy moved out to California, got a day job, and started playing in multiple bands.  My favorite band he played in was STUNG: A Tribute to the Police... They still play (minus Eric), but you should still check them out!

2) Follow Passions:  Eric has BIG IDEA's.  Whether it be growing 12 hops strains in our backyard, raising the back of our house, or starting a Music Education Research Project for the kids of Oakland, he does it.  Eric is amazing at seeing a problem, making a plan to try to fix it, and implementing it.  

3) Be Kind to EVERYONE:  Eric is one of the nicest people I know.  He can turn anyone's frustration or bad day into a great one with his corny"Middle School" jokes, smile, and damn those dimples... apparently he's been getting out of trouble since preschool by flashing those dimples!

4) Give Loyalty/Support to Others:  Eric is a great supporter.  Without his support, Handbrewed Soaps wouldn't be here.  He pushes me to focus all of my energy on my passion of beer soap!  He comes up with new ideas for me, and is usually the brains behind our shenanigans.  And he sticks with you, through good and bad times. He does this for all of his friends and family

5) Laugh:  I have never laughed so much with a person.  Eric has a talent for using  his corny-ass humor to deflate conflicts and brings humor to serious situations that may not need to be so serious (if you know what I mean.)  He is goofy ball.

6) Care:  Eric is very caring, so much sometimes that he worries himself to death.  He cares for/about things that many people would look over.  But this is what brings him back to his passions.  And if it's a passion, Eric will pursue it!

There are many more things he has taught me, these are the big six!  Thanks Eric for these past 11 years...  I can't wait to see what the next 11 will bring! Happy Anniversary!

How to Deal with being Wiped Out

Image from: brainlesstales

Wiped out can mean lots of different things: being tired, run down, to 'everything' being taken away from you.  Today I experienced the latter, and boy was I on an emotional roller coaster.  I was scared, I felt lost.  I yelled, I got into arguments with my loved ones... why me?  But then after hours of should-of's, could-of's, I realized that I was perceiving that everything was being taken away.  I still had my family/friends, a shelter, and food. These three things being the most important things I could ever need or want.  And if these things were still there, what was really being taken away?  An object, an idea?  How did I make this realization you wonder?  Well....


1) Take a nap.  I knew that I wasn't making any decisions with a clear head.

2) Listen. By taking a nap, I was able to hear criticisms, or concerns with an open heart (not being defensive) and get feedback on what to do in this situation.

3) Stop and Ask. By asking myself, "What does 'everything' being taken away really mean to me?"  I was hearing what other's thought, but how did I define it?

Step three was a turning point in my day.  What matters the most is all around me.  What more can I need!

Thank you for reading my "vague" description of the day!  I would love to hear what you do when you've been wiped  out!

Follow Your Gut: Do What You Love

Image from seanwes.com

     Recently I got advice from multiple people that I should go back to teaching elementary school. They made very valid, practical, and 'safe' points about retirement, benefits, and a steady income that teaching would give me and my family.

     I have been strategically planning on leaving the teaching career over the past four years. I went from 100% employment, to 80%, to 50%, to finally 20%.  When I wasn't teaching, I was starting my soap company. Now, I'm at the crossroads that I have been anticipating, running my soap company full time, and what do I do, doubt myself and ask others what I should do.  And with this advice, I realize that my fear of the unstable is what has stopped me from starting my business! Yes, I'm scared shitless of a lack of a steady pay check and all the other things mentioned by those that are concerned about my choice. But what they (and I) have failed to see is that I've been planning this for four years!!    As Connor Franta says in his memoir, A Work in Process, (yes I am quoting a 22 year old YouTube star):

"In a world conditioned to follow the herd, mentality, playing it safe, a lot of people find it hard to stay true to themselves and accept the things particular to them. It's easy to give in to peer pressure and simply settle with what everyone else is doing, but never forget that each of us is different. You are your own individual, with your own particular set of dreams,desires, and aspirations...So know what you like, know what makes you happy, stick to your guns, and state it with confidence.  You'll walk taller, and as long as you follow your gut, you won't stray far in life." 

So here I am, following my gut! I'm looking forward to this new chapter!  What new chapter are you starting? How do you work through the doubt?

Persevering through Writer's Block

   

Today I have writer's block.  I have no idea what to blog about.  I'm day seven into the blog challenge, and I'm at a loss for words.  I have a list of topics that I can write from, but nothing is speaking to me.  All I really want to write about is how I don't know what to write.
     When I was a classroom teacher, I always had my students spend the first 15 minutes of class writing in their journals.  I has a laundry list of ideas for them to write about on the wall including: 1) what they did over the weekend, 2) the most unusual food they ate, 3) the biggest surprise they ever got etc.  And just like I'm experiencing now, my students would tell me, "Ms. Swi, I don't know what to write about!"  And my response would be, "Then write about that.  Write about how you don't know what to write, why you don't know what to write, and what would inspire you to write."  Usually their entries would look something like this....

"I don't know what to write.  I don't know what to write.   I don't know why I don't know what to write, I just don't know what to write.  Nothing would inspire me.  Why are you making me do this???"

And right now, that is how I'm feeling!  So, I'll give myself my response that I would give to them:
     "I know how you feel.  I've been there.  But by writing the five sentences you just wrote you got to practice.  You reinforced your writing skills of spelling and sentence structure.  You voiced your feelings.  You explored what the point of this 15 minute exercise is all about.  You got through a rough patch.  You persevered.  I'm proud of you!"

Yes, I got through this!  I persevered and I'm proud of myself!

Blocked Chakra ALERT!!!

Apparently my third chakra (my throat chakra) is blocked.  I've been getting migraines everyday for the past three weeks.  Sometimes twice a day.  I went to my doctor and was given narcotics to rid the pain.  But, I'm not a narcotics girl, so I went to my massage therapist, Ranjot. It was he, that told me I had a lot going on around my 'third eye' (which is not a zit in the middle of your forehead.) Don’t worry; this chakra thing is new to me too!)  In other words, I am thinking A LOT and my throat charka is blocked, which means I'm not talking about whatever I'm thinking about.  So hence, I'm writing about it...

Ranjot, the amazing, gave me the following strategies to unblock my Chakra:

1) Talk about worries/thoughts

2) Meditate daily (this even means reciting a mantra over again. "This is Me-time, enjoy it!  This is Me-time, enjoy it! This is Me-time, enjoy it!")

3) Ground yourself by walking barefoot on lawn, grass, anything not man-made!

4) Visualize: Breath out the bad, breathe in the good.

So what did I choose:  I combined some strategies.  I ripped out a 10 X16 ft area of brick (manmade), which got me breathing heavily. I may not of been visualizing out with the bad, in with the good...  but I did seem to work something out...  

We’ll, see how my third eye took it!!!!  What do you do to unblock your charkras?

The Sparkly Necklace - Raising Girls

I was recently in Boston on a business trip, for my 9-5 job.  After long meetings, a female co-worker and I decided to go walk the mall that happened to be attached to our hotel, to get some exercise.   I found this to be an excellent idea considering I was planning on bringing home presents to my girls.  I found a stuffed lobster for the youngest (she’s into anything with claws…don’t ask), and I found a sparkly bling -bling heart locket for my six year old. So as I’m paying to the necklace, my co-worker says, “Maybe I should get that for my daughter, but that might be sending the wrong message.” I let the comment go… but of course I pressed for info awhile later.  She told me that she didn’t want to get her daughter a gift that could send a message of 'that is what girls should be liking… ' 

That's when I started BREWIN'  (my thoughts that is...)

I totally get that!  And actually support that idea 100%! I even wondered if I was sending a wrong message??? 6 years ago, when I found out that I was having girls…  I told everyone…  do not by her pink or purple…  nothing girly.   Buy none gender specific items….  And when in doubt… go with an educational toy… primary colors!!!  I introduced her to soccer and basketball.  Puzzles were a way of life for us.    

If you ask my daughter what she wants to be when she grows up, she’ll tell you… “Well I’m already it… I’m an artist.”  We never gave her any formal art classes, but she always had access to paper, crayons, and markers. She has self-taught herself how to draw, paint, and blend colors. She created things at the age of 5 that I didn’t learn how to do until I was in middle school.  And her art expands into her fashion. She combines patterns and colors together… as well as picks out accessories.  She even helps me every once in awhile…  So this purchase could seem to an outsider that I was buying a ‘girlie’ item, because this is how a girl should be.  But in actuality, I was buying an “article” for my daughter to design with.

I am thankful for my co-worker challenging me to think about why I got the necklace in the first place. And I’m thankful for a daughter that knows who she is… an artist. (And yes, this will probably change a million times.)  But the bottom line is, every mom knows their kid the best.  Every mom needs to be confident with that!

What issues have you 'brewin' as a parent?

I Struggle, but I am Driven - Juggling a life of soap and family

I struggle with managing being a mom, working a full time job, and launching my dream job.  I struggle with blogging and promoting my business.  I struggle …  I get frustrated when I have spilt half of my olive oil on the floor.  My anxiety increases when my two year old has a tantrum right when I pour my sodium-hydroxide solution into my oils and my husband isn’t helping the situation because he can’t be peeled away from the football game.  I get nervous using new technology (i.e. Paypal or the Square) at shows, there is always some sort of update that I seemed to have missed…

But I remain driven.  I remain driven because I get to meet new people and talk to them about two of my favorite things: beer and soap.  I get to create.  I get to be my own boss.  I get to be a role model for my two girls, teaching them that women can start their own business and carve a path in a male dominate field (in this case brewing). I know one day, my dream job will be my full time job!!

In the meantime, I have great days and so-so days.

We all struggle. What keeps you driven?

A Time to Slow Down

It's June...and we all are running around like a chicken with their head cut off!  Graduations, parties, and the summer are right around the corner.  And there's the stuff to finish.  I got to help my daughter finish her end of the year project, and get her registered for summer camp by Tuesday.  Then I need to finish writing a report for work by Wednesday (or was it Friday?  Please let it be Friday!!)... and Oh... I've got 5 soap shows coming up, did I make and wrap enough?   It's like 'we' (the collective we) have been running a marathon and we are one mile away from the finish line.

Yesterday, I got a reminder to slow down.  I burned my arm on a hot pot while I was pouring rebatched soap into a mold.  It didn't seem like a big deal at the time.  I just put cold water on it and rushed to the next thing I had to do.  But now, a day later, it hurts, it's peeling, and turning black and blue.  I can't rest my arm on anything or lift my youngest daughter up to snuggle with, as the pain in unbearable.

Rushing around oftentimes leads to mistakes, accidents, and takes us away from the very things that are the most important to us.  I was reminded to ask myself, "Is it really important to do all these activities?  Can't I say no to some, and yes to others?  Why am I doing this activity?  Am I happy?' 

And so, I give gratitude to my burn.  It reminded me to slow down.  It has FORCED me to stop.  And as a reward, I am completely present...  I'm enjoying watching my kids ride their bikes. I'm actually 'listening' during a conversation with my husband (don't tell him that though!)  

But I'll be honest, I have started a list of To-Do's for tomorrow.  I'm only human!!!

What remind's you to slow down?

DIY: Fabric Teaches Gratitude

I don't sew.  I'm afraid of the sewing machine.  It looks like a high tech monster. But I have the amazing ability to accumulate fabric, yarn, lace, and the stuff you sew to the bottom of clothing (I think it's called hem?) It's been collecting in my 'art' room for years.

Recently, while in a yoga class (I go about twice a year), I noticed my thoughts wandering to the windows.  Usually I would try to refocus on the pain of the pose that I was in, but I had discovered the COOLEST window curtains/coverings... prayer cloths! This discovery ruined any benefits I knew the class would give me.  All I wanted was the class to be over so I could examine these prayer cloths.  They were handmade, and I needed to see how they were put together.

Of course they were sewn together... which made me feel defeated.  But then I realized that I could do what I always do when I have to "sew" something, use HOT GLUE!!!  My defeat turned into exhilaration and I went home to make these window coverings.  

Once home, all the 'sewing' stuff came out. I decided to use any lace/ hem/ shoelace to hang the fabric off of. I got my fabric and glue gun out, and was set to go.  I cut 2" x 3" squares of fabric making piles by like material.  Then I started noticing that much of the fabric I was using was coming from old clothes and  table cloths that I wanted to repurpose.  With each square I cut, a memory would arise.  I saw my daughter's first step as I cut a dress she wore when she was one.  I remembered the feeling of being impatient on Christmas Eve as I cut the tablecloth my Grandma always used for that holiday, and I recalled the stupid (yet wonderful) jokes my husband told me on our first date, as I cut up his old shirt.  

Honestly, I wanted to create a prayer cloth window hanging for its coolness factor. But, it turned out that it did what it was intended for.  As I put the prayer cloth together, I got to mediate on a lot of great moments in my life. By the time I finished, I was calm, feeling refreshed and grateful for my family, friends, and the beautiful city I was born and raised in, Oakland.  

What are you grateful for?